the king of snark is a teddy bear

DELISH: So, what's your personal decorating style?

ANTHONY BOURDAIN: Welcome to baby world.

DELISH: What's your favorite room in the house?

AB: The living room. It's become a combination TV room, dining room, and playroom. The floor is covered with brightly colored baby-friendly tiles, a tent full of plastic balls, toys, and more toys.

DELISH: What's the one thing in this room you couldn't live without?

AB: The monster flat-screen TV. Whether rewatching The Wire — or Yo Gabba Gabba with my daughter — it's an essential diversion.

DELISH: What is your ideal day at home?

AB: I'm not at home as much as I like since I'm traveling about half the time or sometimes more...so a perfect day? Wake up. Run out for the Times and Post and coffee for me and my wife. A few hours of successfully writing deathless prose at my desk. Followed by a nap. Join wife and daughter in trip to park. Daughter goes (uncharacteristically) quietly and happily to sleep in her crib. My wife and I go out for yakitori and many drinks.

DELISH: But when you are at home and want to cook, what do you prepare?

AB: I pan-sear a steak au poivre. Or make a simple pasta. But mostly, I order out.

DELISH: If you had an unlimited amount of money to spend on one kitchen item, what would it be?

AB: A professional stove. And a kitchen to put it in.

DELISH: What’s the one kitchen item you think every cook should have on hand?

AB: An offset serrated knife. The F Dick model is good. I believe there's a Wüsthof as well.

DELISH: What are some of your most memorable moments from No Reservations?

AB: Introducing my camera and production crew to the lethal charms of the Negroni in Tuscany. One cameraman ended up passing out with his head in the freezer.

DELISH: If you were to invite a famous person to your house, who would it be?

AB: My home is not guest-ready at the present time — or likely to be in the near future. I'd like to invite Martin Scorsese out to Del Posto to talk movies. More realistically, maybe a few chef friends might drop by. I have a stash of seriously good tinned Galician cockles, razor clams, tuna, and mussels that I bought at Espinaler in Spain and a bottle of their house vermouth. Only chefs would "get" that meal.

DELISH: Who are your favorite people to host at home?

AB: Family. They're the only people who could be expected to put up with the rather spartan conditions, overflow of toys — and the active 16-month-old looking to cosh them with a Fulla doll.